Timi and Busola Dakolo graces our February cover in the month of love. We practically spent the whole day with one of Nigeria’s talented artist Timi Dakolo and his photographer wife, Busola. The popular celebrity couple share their journey of happiness, challenges, friendship, love and fulfillment. In this mind-blowing interview, the parents of three also spoke on Busola’s recent rape allegation against Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA), why it took her a while to open up and their views on the court ruling.
Does Busola look at your phone while chatting with people?
Timi: Oh, she doesn’t.
Busola: No, I don’t. I respect myself.
Where did you meet Busola?
Timi: I met her in church at MUSON Centre, Onikan, Lagos. On the day, she was frowning but it didn’t stop me from walking up to her and demanding her number. I introduced my name as Timi and she gave me attitude, replying with “I know.” She then gave me a fake number but I didn’t give up. I kept trying and won her heart at the end. Now, we are best of friends and gist partners.
At what point did you decide she would be your wife?
Timi:
It took a while. At first, she friend zoned me. She kept saying she would think about it and that took so long.
Why did it take you so long to accept Timi’s advances?
Busola:
I needed to know him well. Again, I wasn’t ready for a relationship so I was taking my time.
How long did you date before marriage?
Timi:
It took us two years. Within those two years, I was her personal driver. I would leave home very early so as to beat Lagos traffic because she would go if I was late. I worked for it and I ensured I got her.
At what point did you realise that he was the man for you?
Busola:
On a particular day, we came back from somewhere and it just dawned on me that this guy had done enough. I also realised how much I loved him. When he was about leaving, I drew him back and whispered something into his ears. He turned, looked at me in a weird way and smiled.
Timi:
There is a secret people need to know. Busola had this white bum shot she walked around with in her house. Once she wanted to have her bath, she would ask me to go to the other end of the room for me not to have a glimpse of her nakedness. She would scream in the bathroom: “Hope you can’t see anything.” In my head, I wondered why this fine girl was treating me like this! She also hated coming to my house (laughs).
How you guys spend your first Valentine’s Day?
Timi: We didn’t really mark our first Valentine but we were always having fun in our own way. We could buy ‘suya’ and groundnut, then eat at home.
Busola:
The first place he took me to was Sway Bar.
Timi: We also used to go to Double4, Yellow Chilli and Silverbird to watch movies.
What does friendship mean to you?
Timi:
It means “aproko”. For me, relationship or friendship is for two, three is a crowd.
What’s the most favorite Valentine’s gift Timi has brought you?
Busola:
He has surprised me with a car through his late friend, Eric Arubayi (May his soul continue to rest in peace). I could remember Eric wanted to know the type and colour of car I wanted. I didn’t know a big surprise was on the way.
Timi:
Didn’t I also buy a house you liked?
Busola:
Yes, he pointed at a house and asked me if I liked it. I said yes and he bought it.
You have three beautiful kids. Why do you call them ‘my yard people?’ and how has fatherhood changed you?
Timi:
That is because I grew up in a yard, a ‘face me and face you’ apartment where everyone knows everyone’s business. We were so close and we used to borrow things from one another. We lived like a big family.
Fatherhood, for me, is actually a manifestation of how much God loves me. I now understand why our parents used to shout at us to stop watching films. It is now obvious to me that they didn’t hate us but they did that at the time because they didn’t have money. It’s a thing of pride for parents to be able to provide for their kids and I am glad that God has been faithful to me.
You have three albums under your sleeves, should we expect more?
Yes, I am still working on my new album. I am recording in London. When it’s ready, everyone will get to know about it.
Busola, what inspired you to become a photographer?
Timi actually inspired me. We were meant to learn photography together but after the first day in class; he became reluctant, but I continued. I do portrait and lifestyle photography. Before photography came, I desired to work in the oil and gas industry since I studied Geology and Mining.
Timi, are you satisfied with the growth of music in Nigeria?
The only issue with the industry at the moment is structure. There are different genres and audiences but if we had a better structure, we would have made huge money from loyalties.
Busola, how did you share your rape case with your husband?
Someone actually reached out to Timi about an alleged rape by Fatoyinbo. The moment Timi was telling me about it, I started crying. He wanted to know what the problem was and we talked about it. I couldn’t even narrate it all at once; it was a gradual conversation.
Kemi Olunloyo alleged that the fight was actually between Pastor Paul Adefarasin Fatoyinbo, then Adefarasin decided to use the Dakolos to bring him down. What’s your take on that?
Timi:
Do you know when I signed Virgin deal? I have been going to London and Los Angeles to work on this album, and I have been paid for it. I don’t believe in showing off wealth, so I don’t brag about it. People kept saying a pastor is using us and I keep wondering how and why? If you are not guilty, you wouldn’t go around sending people to me. When I first posted about pastors’ misbehaviours without mentioning names, why did they send Pastor Matthew all the way from London to meet me? If I share the quality of people that have come to my house to plead, it will shock everyone.
Busola, did you speak out of revenge?
Busola
No, I didn’t speak out because I wanted a revenge. When Timi told me about the other lady’s experience, I was surprised because I thought the man had changed. I spoke out because I felt there were a lot of people who couldn’t speak for themselves and to also help the next victim. I have daughters and I can kill because of them. So, it’s something I don’t wish for anyone.
Timi:
I will kill the person first.
Busola:
By speaking out, you don’t know who you can save; it could be your daughter too. I had my own psychological battle and it also affected my husband too.
Timi:
Yes! She used to get angry over little things. I just didn’t understand but I laughed over it. If you tried to surprise my wife, it could be trouble. She would just flair up, over unnecessary things. I knew that there was something wrong with her but I didn’t think it was as deep as rape. Sometimes, she would be too hard on the children and I didn’t think it was normal. She always screamed at Alex, our son, whenever his sisters were going to the bathroom. But to me, growing up, it was normal for siblings to do things together regardless of the gender differences.
How do you advice people who judge their spouses by their past?
Timi:
Have you not dated someone else’s daughter before? Having a muscle or deep voice doesn’t make you a man; you must always be there for your wife. If you say for better for worse, it is a total vow. It means you will accept the person’s past, present and future. Also, women need to be protected everywhere they go and you need to protect your wife as a man. Women can be molested anywhere but it shouldn’t be the church because it is seen as a safe place. If the church is not safe for us and our children, then where else is safe? Many disturbing things happen in the church and when you reveal them, you are accused of attacking the church.
Do you support Daddy Freeze’s criticism of the church?
Timi:
He is just a bitter child and he is looking for relevance. If I see him tomorrow, I will tell him. If you are looking for relevance, church is the wrong place to go. I once told him that if he didn’t believe in paying of tithe, no one would force him. Tithing, I believe, is between you and God.
Do you try to avoid him since your social media fight with him?
Timi:
I am not scared of him. I don’t think I fear anybody in this world. I grew up in a place where you would tell people their ‘fuck up’ without any fear.
What is the secret to your marital bliss?
Busola:
It’s a process.
Timi:
We have our own issues but we have a way of finding solutions. I have to adjust to her way of doing things because my wife is an organised woman. When I pull off my shirt, I can hang it anywhere but she ensures I do the proper thing. She always calls me to order when whenever I don’t do things properly.
It was alleged that Fatoyinbo dated and jilted you. Did you date him at some point?
Busola:
He jilted me! How? People were only saying different things. As a teenager, I was even afraid of boys.
How did you handle the rape drama and hurt?
Timi:
Do you know we have a clinical psychologist? You need to understand the mood of people who feel something was taken away from them forcefully. I try to understand when she wants to be around people and when she doesn’t. I always try to listen to her. When she told me about her rape experience, it was hard to believe. I questioned why her siblings and family members didn’t scatter things.
Busola:
My family reacted and didn’t take it slightly when they got to know, but there was no need to tell everyone what we were doing behind the scene.
Timi:
If people want to destroy you, they come up with things. I was in London when I saw a story on social media that I got married at COZA. They said I was given five million naira and a car.
Where did you have your church wedding?
Timi:
We married at Global Impact Church in Ilorin, Kwara State. They also said I was a choir master at COZA, yet I have never entered the church. If my wife was an ordinary woman, you could only imagine what they would have done to her. The woman would have been jailed.
Why did it take you so long to speak out?
Busola:
It’s one of the reasons rape victims don’t speak out. I wasn’t quite sure how people around me would accept it. There was the concern that people might not believe me or start looking at me in a certain way. But being a mother has really changed me. When I decided to speak out, everybody was shocked.
Are your kids aware of the rape case?
Timi:
We told them everything.
Busola:
They know about this.
Timi:
When the police came to the house, the kids said we didn’t have a justice system in this country.
Busola:
They wanted to know why they were still in Nigeria.
Do you have anything against Kemi Olunloyo over her comments?
Busola:
If you studied all she said, you would discover that she was just cooking up stories to defend the person (Fatoyinbo).
Timi:
The lady she called Busola’s sister was not even a family member.
Busola:
I don’t have issues with her.
How do you describe your love for each other?
Busola:
I call him my catalyst. Inasmuch as he is a troublemaker, he troubles me in the right manner. I don’t know if I have told him this before.
Timi:
She always tells me anytime she wants to collect my money for vacation
Busola:
It is not when you need something, you hail a man (Laughs).
Timi:
She is a special human being; she actually changed me in a lot of ways. I don’t take things seriously but my wife is very organized. She also taught me how to save money. Left to me, I would have bought many cars but she kept saying no.
What does love mean to you guys?
Busola:
Love for me is being myself and for my husband to accept me the way I am. He knows the bad, the good and the ugly things about me. Despite the rubbish things I have done, he must be able to beyond that. That’s the definition of love for me.
Timi:
For you to say I love you, it means you have known the person to a huge extent. It means you are comfortable with the person and he or she is your safe place from the crazy world.
How long does your fight last?
Timi:
I think the highest is three days
Busola:
There was a fight, which lasted five days.
Timi:
She got me angry and I had to travel. But whenever we fight, we don’t throw bottles or carry chairs. Marriage was not something I looked forward to while growing up because I didn’t want any lady to change me.
What’s your favourite meal?
Busola:
‘Eba’ or pounded yam and ‘Banga’ soup. My husband and children don’t eat ‘amala.’ But whenever I go to my sister’s place, I eat it. He is a very traditional person when it comes to food. He likes plantain porridge also.
Timi:
I don’t eat much, though.
