The Role of Social Media on Rape Culture

The influence of social media on rape culture/sexual harassment is overwhelming as victims are becoming dauntlessly vocal and offenders making concessions. The past is alienated of this turn because of the constant reprehension towards the victims instead of the abusers where the girl child is afraid to open up about being raped or abused because her parents/guardians will deem her possessed of lewdness and would send her to some prayer house for deliverance and all that jazz. Rape/sexual harassment victims are punctured to be as silent as the grave because society has a way of heaping a bulk of the blame on them with the what were you wearing citation. As if to say what she decides to wear justifies a man’s deficiency in self-control. To think some of these people who share this belief that men are attracted to what they see hence a lady should be more conservative with her fashion, pray fervently to move to countries like America where women are even more revealing in fashion; such countries where rape/sexual harassment is addressed with zero tolerance. Their survival optimism remains a mystery to me.

For a country like Nigeria where rape culture is pronounced especially in the North and has just 18 rape convictions since independence, I’m positive that we’re making headway and I acknowledge the relevance of social media as a tool used in tackling this ill especially in a lawless patronage system.

A good number of people especially men are learning about consent on social media. Consent is paramount. It means to express willingness or to give permission/to allow. A lady visiting a guy doesn’t depict consent because some people come up with imbecilic sentiments of “Why did she visit the guy”. She agreed to visit you, she doesn’t agree to get intimate with you. Consent gained from manipulation is also unsafe because the way some men feel entitled to a lady’s body after treating her to lunch is appalling.

Parents don’t feel the need to give the male child sex talks but restrict it to the females. This is an underrated foundation of rapey because boys become men, think they’ll do just anything and settle with a good wife.

Most men don’t understand that NO means NO; they think it’s a good call to show their masculine wooing cues. When most women say “men are scum”, they don’t mean to be bitter over a guy probably not texting back; it’s anger at a culture of violence kept unaddressed for years. We should stop raising men in a way/mentality that rape is the victim’s fault, turning them to monsters that believe rape should be used to chastise women and going on a date with a lady is consent.

Rape victims need more than sympathy as it’s not a trivial ill. Hence if you’re not a direct victim or unsure of the narrative you’re dishing about rape, please desist from talking about it. False rape accusation has become a thing already and it’s severing the attention rape culture is garnering. Some girls may use it as a medium to get back at someone they must’ve had a fling with probably while younger with consent at the time. We should drag rapists and channel same energy in dragging those who make false rape allegations.

Though there are more hurdles to cross as a great number of persons still detail their rape escapades anonymously through certain pages on social media because they’re exposed to reprehension and sometimes ridicule if they come open and that’s due to the close-mindedness of our society. There are several social media pages devoted to the rape narrative, giving even the men a voice contrary to how society pricks them to ‘man up’, conceal and never reveal. This turn alone put some offenders in check as they do the most to not get outed that openly.

We could do more than just social media and until we’re ready to educate our kids on sex and consent, we’re just scratching the surface and inadvertently breeding the next generation of sex offenders. Imagine where schools skip Reproduction in biology. They believe it ruins the kid’s nonexistent innocence.  Men, fathers, uncles should teach boys about consent and control. Groping, sending sexual innuendo texts to someone without consent. These little things make a difference. Some men often tag ladies who speak out as “bitter feminists” This is not about  feminism or Chimamanda as it’s applicable to any gender and sexuality.

For a country with just 18 rape convictions ever, we need to do the most in securing a safe atmosphere for our sons, daughters, brothers and sisters.